Life is really good for me at the moment. The boys now aged 22, 17 and 16 are brilliant, quite the young men. So much so that they appear to be thinking that they are my Dad at the moment. Middle one passed his driving test a couple of months ago so I now have two taxis on tap which is useful as I seem to have great difficulty in staying in just lately, he continues to do really well at college with plans for university next year, oldest continues to work and is happy with his girlfriend three years together now.
I still struggle for words with my youngest on occaisions although that is not something he struggles with – what a mouth ! I shall feel nothing but relief when he finally finishes school next year.
I have loads of friends (good ones) and a social life that wears me out but in a very happy way, and yes a new partner who is just hilarious and we do nothing but laugh the whole time we are together, completely on the same page about most things.
Slowly and I mean very slowly the big defensive walls are coming down often becoming more of a hindrance these days than the necessary help that they were over a year ago now. I think I will always retain a few safety bricks, i’d be silly not to. But for now I have no reason to be behind them.
I have been busy changing bedrooms the last few weeks and am now in the process of creating a retreat which will be nothing less than paradise when finished, it feels like yet anther new start. Having said that I am not known for my DIY skills so it could take a while and I refuse to depend on anyone else except me for stuff like that. I am now back on my own two feet and I intend to stay there.
I found a few reminders of my ex in my clearing out mood which have been appropriately disposed of, I need no reminders of that time in my life.
I will keep what i’ve learned and treasure it always and for gaining that knowledge – I have no regrets.
It has been over a year now since I have seen my ex in person and months since we spoke, I did however get a text a few months ago asking how I was when I had unblocked my phone for another reason which was asking ‘how are you’
My immediate reaction was to send one back saying – fantastic without you and your addiction in my life, but I resisted the temptation and felt pretty much nothing at all except, Oh My God your actually still at It !!!
So that’s me in a nut shell, life goes on as they say and i’m enjoying every minute. I shall continue to read from time to time as ever and hope to do one or two replys and updates now I am able to stand more back from the situation and not be upset by it.
I will never forget those who posted to me although i’m sure it was at times a very painful experience, without them I really have no idea where I would be now, actually I have a very good idea and it wouldn’t have been pretty
Love always
Jenny x