Hi Idi – thanks for posting on my thread. I thought I would write a response here rather than back on my thread where you might miss it.
Just to remind you – you wrote: Please tell me how you can came to know what you really wanted from life ? Did you always know ? It amazes me that at my age I am still drifting through and still no sense of direction..
One of the things I worked out from my gambling days – was that drifting was bad news for me. I felt that my life needed to have some meaning, otherwise I would create meaning by gambling. Weird? Well when I am constantly thinking that I need to get my next fix – or I need money to pay for the fix – or I need money to replace the money I used getting the fix … all that is giving my life “meaning.” It might be all negative but it is a reason to live (to play, or try and stop playing, or paying off debts.)
When I stopped – it was like tumbleweed flowing through my brain. More than boredom – it was like “what is the point of life – if I can’t gamble? How can I replace that?”
I had during my “trying to stop” days, read books by Viktor Frankl, the Austrian / Jewish psychotherapist who was also a concentration camp survivor. Whilst he was there he noticed that people who had a strong “life purpose” were more likely to survive what they were going through. He came up with the idea that, “those who had a why to live can get through any how.”
Now when my life got really tough – with stress at work and debt repayments (small beer compared to being in a concentration camp – I know!) I looked back at his work and thought about what would give my life meaning. For some it is their families – but I don’t have one. For some it is religion or faith – but although I believe in something it is not that strong. For some it is suffering itself – but I didn’t feel that applied to me. So I had to look at what was meaningful for me. I’m most at peace and most happy when I am experiencing nature – so being in the world and discovering more of it has sustained me over the last year or so of travelling. Now I can’t then plan B would be to stay and explore nature in one place (which was the theme of the post you responded to.)
So there you have it. I didn’t always know – it was something that I worked on. Partying sounds more your thing – and I guess this is because you are more of an extrovert. Connecting with people and bring others (and yourself) joy may be something you could look at. I hope you find your way, you know you have my support!