Dear diary,
Feeling stress today! It was not from gambling, debt, work or people but the feeling felt the same. I was moody today and thought of acting out / fix this feeling.
I have been making full use of my idle time in the office to do floor mat exercise. These high intensity interval exercises was tough for a beginner like me.
On my off day like today, I jog and had a good workout in the early morning.
I can feel the effect after the exercise, been getting the painful and stressful body ache.
Mentally I need to be stronger to deal with these physical pain and mental stress.
it has backfire on me in the past when I got confuse by this feeling; thinking it was from something else and I had to fix it
Let’s see how it goes, how long can I carry on
I hope I can do this regularly for a year.
One unexpected bonus was the better quality of sleep.
Think this exercise regime is going to be a blessing in disguise in the long run. I am thankful that I can tell where the stressful feeling come from and still remain calm, so I didn’t have to panic and do anything impulsive to correct the feeling. Now I don’t get confuse, and lost due to this stress, I can tell that they are not from the debt, gambling, work or people.
There was a time I had problem with gambling and debt, work and people, my recovery program, and health all at the same time. When I felt stress, I can only guess where the stress is coming from but never sure which one but always blame it on my gambling and debts.
Like the autobiographic of an addict, I may feel the same stress now, but I don’t get trap by it anymore and do the same thing in the past now, in fact I don’t have to do anything.
I am not fit now. If I can continue doing this regularly for a period, it will go away.
It is ok, don’t panic!