Jenny, I wondered what became of you…
I really cannot emphasize enough, how powerfully a CG can use “skills” to gain our own way. We always pick on the person who is most likely to falter. The most vulnerable one.
Money means nothing to an active CG. It is purely ammunition to keep the wheels spinning and because gambling is a progressive disease, the cash vanishes faster every time we gamble. I have no intention of judging your husband’s actions. I can only speak from my own experience. It stands out a mile though, that he is testing you and sadly , you are falling for every ploy.
If he loses 10grand, that’s his tough luck. Not yours. If his car is out of petrol, why should you rescue him? Let him call somebody else or the AA. When it comes to his interaction with the children, it is far more serious of course. Family counselling would help , whether he agrees to go or not. Lots of free help available. Have you ever gone to Gamanon? Maybe they could advise you about help for your children. Do you think your son could be picking up on your anger and your stress? I have a lot of admiration for anyone who resists the tricks and learns to avoid the antics of a CG. I’m referring to myself here and I don’t or cannot say that every CG is the same.
All I DO know is when I want to gamble I will stop at nothing to get my way. When I am not gambling, I am a totally different person. At times , I was scared by my own actions and feared for my own safety. Gambling knows no bounds. Can you imagine driving down a sttep hill and suddenly the brakes fail on your car ? Being out of control through gambling is far more scary than that. You have no idea where it will end or how to stop it. That is why, as a “bystander”Jenny, YOU need to jump back and pull your children to safety. The “driver” has absolutely NO control when moving at such high speed. Being terrified makes it more dangerous for all concerned.
PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN.
From what you describe, your husband is up to his neck in trouble and I hate to say this, but he seems to be making no attempt at recovery. His time will come and hopefully it won’t be too late. You cannot take one step for him Jenny or solve his problems, no matter how hard you try . The more you respond to him, by allowing him to “whitewash” his actions i.e “playing daddy”, offering money, saying he is paying debts etc , the less likely he is to seek help.
CGs are the greatest bluffers when we want to be! Stay clear or he will pull you down to where he seems to be heading…the gutter! (I hope I’m wrong)
Time will tell.
