Next week I will travel for two days to make product presentation to a few prospective customers. As I am ready to go, I am filled with anxiety again. The last time I traveled 3 years ago, she went gambling and it was also true the time before that. This time we have a daughter but I think she might ditch work and gamble. I should enjoy this opportunity to travel with colleagues and a chance to go out of the country but I am not.

I have a nagging feeling that she is gambling sporadically the last few months. However, I have no evidence as her credit and bank account are untouched. I also contacted friends that she used to borrow money from and they confirmed that she has not borrowed any money lately. Previously anytime she gambled, she spiraled out and raking up debts quickly. I hope it is just my imagination. One small positive step that I have observed is that my wife is generally much more happy since my daughter was born and it has been about two years since I have concrete evidence of her gambling and if she is gambling, she is at a much reduced level.

I am telling myself that I have tried my best and there is nothing else I could do to help and it has to come from her. My wife on average lost about half of her take home income to gambling the last several years. Sometimes I try to justify my current situation as marrying to a wife with half the income but I know it is not the same with all the lies, argument, and anxiety.

Thanks for reading.