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As a side note, I wrote the word “chance” in the above paragraph and it immediately struck me.

I wrote “there is a chance I would lose the money.” Well of course there is. When we are thinking about gambling though, we don’t think like that. We think, there is a chance I will win. Then it made me think, I know this isn’t rational but I think in my brain somewhere I’ve kind of imagined the odds to be 50/50 chance I will win or lose. You know, *I’m a good gambler* (very sarcastic here).. I think I always figured I could beat the system. I really thought I was going to win big. Big enough to put back what I took. But that’s crazy.

The odds are more like 100% you will lose. Or at least 99.99% you will lose. The odds are not in our favour I guess is all I’m saying. The house always wins. There is always a CHANCE we will win but there is a much better chance we will lose. And not just lose our money but lose our money and our lives and our family and our self worth and we could even lose our minds. This is a really tough addiction and one that so many people have yet so few people can see. 

It is an addiction that is as Vera put it, a SECRET. We live inside our heads. We gamble in secrey. That’s tough for someone to carry around with them. 

I guess I’m just rambling now but I think we all have a better chance if we stay g free.