#3708
dcor
Participant

Well, here we go again. Not sure where to start with what… From everything before, I had taken over the majority of the house bills. Talked to her about having her paycheck go into my accnt, except for her weekly amount (exact opposite of how it was before, when she was paying the bills) and she was having none of that.
At this point, there are a few bills that she pays from her paycheck, and I cover the rest. As such, I no longer have access to her account, to check for suspicious withdraws or charges, etc. She refuses to do that, to prove to me that she isn’t gambling anymore.
For a few months, things seemed good, and I didn’t think she was going to those gambling shops. Now, I’m getting nervous again. I’ve tried to trust her, when she says she isn’t going, but it’s tough, especially since she won’t show me transaction history with no withdraws at those places and their in-house atms.

I found a receipt last night, for one of them, dated last week. So I know she has been through their atm at least once again. I’m sure that’s not the only time, but have no proof. She refuses to add me to her new account, because “That’s my account, you’re just trying to be controlling and tell me where my money goes”
If she’s going down that road again (or still… I never received any proof she actually stopped…. other than her saying that she did… but that’s exactly what she said before, when I DID have proof she was going)…

At a complete and total loss at this point. Betrayed. Insulted. The bills are being covered, but it’s tough. This week has been tight. No lunch to save money, 15$ to last till payday 4 days away. I don’t want to have everything fall apart, but I’m at a loss of what else I can do. If she is still gambling, that money would make all the difference at this point. That’s just looking at monthly bills. Not even counting anything getting saved for the future, just living paycheck to paycheck.

Is divorce my only option? Our son is early 20’s, but still living in the house. Daughter is 16, and can’t stand me most days. If I go that route, she’ll want to stay with her mom. How can I do that when I don’t know if she’ll be able to keep a roof over their heads, or food on the table? If we have to sell the house, I can’t keep it if they moved out, figuring there would be child support and alimony involved. She can’t keep it if I moved out. Where does she and the kids go to? I don’t want to make the fragile relationship with my daughter worse, but what she would probably see as me throwing her, her brother, and her mom out the door.

But the stress of possibly losing everything if she goes off the deep end gambling again is starting to give me health issues.

Is there any way I can get access legally to her account, to see if she is / is not gambling again? Is there any legal way I could track her car (it is registered and purchased in my name, not hers, so I would be tracking my own car)

If your experience, with what she may / may not be doing, would any type of marriage counseling work? She has refused to call, talk, email, anything… with anyone, about what she sees isn’t a problem.