#2962
nomore 56
Participant

Hi James, I think you came a long way in a very short time and it looks like you are on the right path to create some much needed peace and stability for yourself and your little daughter. Addiction is a family disease and affects everyone. The addict is just the central figure in this and sometimes families have a hard time to understand and accept what is really going on with their loved one. It is so much easier to make excuses, to justify, to rationalize and most of all, find someone to blame instead of looking the ugly truth in the face. When I met my hb 31 yrs ago, he was already a cg. His family knew, I did not. So they could not blame me for his gambling really. But what they DID blame me for was his need for money. He always spent more than we had without telling me since we had separate accounts and never really merged our finances. I had no clue what was going on. Shortly before he went to prison for embezzlement, his sister gave him over 20 K to supposedly pay off a credit card. Never happened of course. Months later I got a nasty phone call from her, telling me that she had given him her savings and only for “my f…..g car and my f…g house” because he wanted to make sure “I get to keep it”. How is that for blaming? They ranted and raved about something they had done, not I. Their decision. And I never asked for Disney vacation or new cars, didn’t really care for all of it. The car was paid off, he borrowed against it. The house was in foreclosure but it was my fault that THEY kept enabling him. So don’t listen to anyone, just to your heart, your gut and your mind. Do what is right for you and your little girl. And btw, the necklace would have ended up in the pawn shop. Next thing you know someone might tell you that she gambled because the weather was bad that day. Hard to blame anyone for that though….I think you are doing a really good job and your daughter is very lucky to have her as a dad 🙂