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#68244
Losingitslowly
Participant

All was going well until I had a little down time yesterday morning.
nI had been out in my garden, put on the tomatoe cages, weeded and put down some mulch, walked the dog and even started some laundry. While I have my coffee in the morning is the danger time. I like to pick up some form of technology and check the daily news, weather, and to my dread, the emails. I subscribe to soooooo many things via email that I need to delete at least 50 per day and I usually start out first thing. Yesterday I had an email from an online casino that refuses to close my account. I ha e emailed, instant chat, requested and requested and the account never closes. I had over $300in bonus cash in my account. What’s the harm in playing out the bonus cash and then putting another load of laundry in? Wrong. A good sum of my own money later and I hadn’t even made dinner by 7. I get lost. I have to.play until there is nothing left. Every time. They make it so hard to cash out of those places that everytime I try I just end up playing it out. It’s in the light of the next morning qhe I dont want to wake up because I have failed again that I realize its technology that keeps us in touch but also keeps us slaves to needing to know. When I couldn’t access gambling on my technology I didnt abuse the time I spent on it per se. I do surf you tube a little too long sometimes, so if I am busy I just dont open the laptop. My phone is the enemy right now and I need to find a way to isolate myself from it on those times where I will find myself vulnerable. I am feeling that it is more than just this aspect of my life that needs to change and it may result on more of an overhaul than I am really comfortable with. I need yo think about this more and gamble less. I think about nothing at all when I do that, and that’s my biggest hurdle.