Izzy, Its good to see you here, this addiction will take everything from us but you already know that, there are so many things I wish I could have changed and done differently but I cant change the past, we cant change what we have done, the past is in the past and we should try and let it stay there or it will haunt are future.
I believe things happen in life for a reason (I dont always know what the reasons are but thats what I believe) and sometimes we go through tough times in life and when we look back at it I also believe it makes us stronger/better people (as long as we learn from our mistakes), I am also a compulsive gambler and have lost enough money to feed a third world country for a year, I have also lost time, love, respect, trust, friendship, family, memories, jobs………………but just for today I work at getting it all back, well everything bar the money, I see the money lost as paying for experiances in life and in truth if we were not going to be in the world tomorrow what do we need the money for!!!!!!
Really well done on 3 weeks gamble free I know how hard it can be to stay gamble free for just one day, I hope you can learn to forget the past and start loving yourself, you are really young and have your whole life ahead of you, gambling destroys lives and no good will ever come from it……..I am said to say it took me many years to realise that.
My very best to you in your life and recovery, keep sharing and let people know how you feel, its good to get things out in the open, no one should judge………..you show me the perfect person and I will show you a liar.
Take care my friend and hope this finds you well.
Maverick (Lee)