I can relate, IDI!
Sorry to hear about the cramps. Very scary in the middle of the night. I have been there . I would actually pass out with cramps and often had to alert my better half and beg him not to leave me. Unless I turn up the drama ( but it would be REAL drama) , he wouldn’t notice even if I did hit the floor.
Every time I cook/bake or do other work in the kitchen I ask him to let me know when the kitchen would be vacant so I can get on with my work without his constant negative remarks. On the UP side , I must admit he does 90% of the work and I don’t always give him the credit he deserves but sin sceal eile (that’s another story). His niggling comments sometimes extend to critical actions e.g. he re arranges the items in the dishwasher , sweeps and washes the floor after I have done it. Sometimes I say nothing, sometimes I nag him to hell and sometimes I gamble to escape.
Did you every think of taping him and playing back his comments? Or simply sitting him down and asking him why he is critizing or maybe get him to put a list on the wall so that you know the rules.
I am sick of listening to negative comments too but I wouldn’t dream of turning my life upside down to escape them. I just try to focus on the actions and I will admit his actions far surpass his words.
Sadly, my son ( who is staying with us now) is taking over where his father leaves off. Every word I utter is either contradicted, repeated with a sneer, or criticized. Maybe your son will take your side and say
“How dare you speak to MY MOTHER like that “but that could be wishful thinking.
In the meantime try to think of the long term and don’t make any rash moves.