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Today marks a round day. It’s the 10th day since I last gambled and I’m still trying to get my life and my thoughts in order after the relapse…

I woke up very tired and lazy today, not motivated to do anything. I think because the last 9 days have been very demanding and stressful with a lot of soul searching, putting out fires and doing damage control. Luckily, my girlfriend got me out of bed this morning and I was only 5 minutes late for today’s lecture. I thank her for that – I know, that I would have been frustrated about myself if I hadn’t gone, which would have ruined the whole day and potentially fuck up my momentum.

After the lecture I had a whole day of possible productiveness, however, I was still lazy and tired from last nights workout. So, I procrastinated… for a little bit. I managed to clean my place and do some laundry and also iI managed to do some progress on my personalized 12 step program – really not too bad. I guess you win some and lose some.

Also, I went to see my big brother who has been a massive help since I came clean to him. Today he helped me out by sorting out my finances, which have been causing me a lot of stress and taking up massive amounts of my mental energy.

All in all, a fairly decent day, but I should have gone to the gym.

One day at a time