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2 weeks. Wow. I’m proud of myself but yesterday and today all I want to do is go to the casino!

I want to go but I do not want to lose money, I do not want to start over from day 1 and i do not want to have to come here and tell you all I relapsed, but I do want to go..

I need to stay strong today as everything is in just the right place for me to go – I am alone, a bit bored, have a “little” bit of cash on me, have the urges, and since I have done well at not going its almost like I think I can *treat* myself to going as a reward.

So ridiculous..
I’m trying to stay strong but the urges are killing me today!!