Still in the ‘hangover’ stage. No urges to gamble at all but feeling very fed up about the financial position I’m in and all the time I have wasted over the last few years.
I confided in a close friend this morning and whilst he’s quite supportive he doesn’t really understand what it’s like for is CG’s.
I think I am beginning to realise some of my triggers; boredom and the desire to get out of debt. I stupidly thought that I would be able to have a ‘quick fix win’. Impatience is the problem. I know that in a year or two I’ll be in a much more comfortable position than I am now (as long as I don’t gamble of course). But a year or two is a log time to wait for someone as impatient as me.
Didn’t sleep very well last night, was just praying that is wake up today and it would all be a big nightmare. But I’m awake and the nightmare hasn’t ended. I’m afraid it never will.
I cannot win because I cannot stop.
Today I will not gamble.