I am in bits. Why did I have to collapse mentally, why did I do this to myself? I am closing the office at the moment, speaking with the insolvency people, and I really don’t want to do this. Part of me is in denial, saying that i can fix this. But I know that is now impossible. The company has too many debts, I have lost too much time through this terrible crippling depression, coupled with the lapses, arguments, self harming. I am such a mess. I don’t know how to cope with this, my moods go up and down all the time.
I never understood how gambling would do this too me. I never realised that gambling COULD do this to me. How did I get so addicted that I didn’t stop last year and not only that, I didn;t do ANY work on the company at all such as payingour debts, doing new marketing etc etc. I think part of me made this happen. I think no matter what good things I have in my life I ruin them. I am so so scared of the future. I do not know what to do.
Thank you all for your support and kind words.
I’ve noticed I keep saying the same things in my posts, I need to move on so badly. But am terrified – no job, debts etc etc.
I am sure that what I am feeling has been felt by many people who are addicted to gambling and could not stop until it was too late. Why do we do this?
Have a great gamble free everyday everyone – remember, it just isn’t worth it at all. I don;t mind I was addicted to gambling, but what pisses me off is that I allowed it to destroy everything I cared for. That is what i can’t understand.