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#51887
jen3
Participant

Day 33 . Went to CR last night. I actually accepted a 30 day chip. I usually never take them. I guess I always feel stupid knowing I have had several 30 day gf stretches. I took it this time in the hopes that it was the last 30 day chip I ever get. Been having a few gambling thoughts/urges the last few days. I try not to give them much ammunition by immediately thinking of all the chaos one small bet leads to. I just don’t want to put myself through it anymore. I really want to see what life has to offer with substantial g free time. I will never know if I keep reliving the same pattern. It’s so simple , we only have to do one thing “don’t gamble” at the same time so hard.