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Day 3 culminated with my first GA session.
Trepidations were allayed and I am increasingly embracing my reality – it helps that the group members were nice and I know now that they are my new extended family. The road to recovery these past few days has helped me to now fully reconcile the dream world of the compulsive gambler that has for so long clouded my judgment and that it is no longer in control of my fate – I am. But at the same time, the arrogance that kept me in the dream world has subsided and I am under no illusion that the road to recovery is long and never ending. My commitment and application to recovery must remain…today and always.
Feelings of guilt continue to surface but I am fighting them and trying to not let them manifest nor impact my judgement or interactions.
Day 4 has been busy with family commitments and job applications – I did not really get to set my goals for the day due to the whirlwind start but it has been a constructive day nonetheless.
Unemployment is increasingly frustrating and adding to the sense of worthlessness – but I know it will take time. I must remain patient and continue to exercise my mind and spirituality – one day at a time.
Finances remain surrendered and exclusions now in place – another day of winning…in my new real world.