Well the beast is certainly awake and throwing all it’s got at me. My partner got upset with the whole ‘situation’ yesterday and I walked out. Within the space of two minutes I had my cg blackmailing me for money (telling me he had just come out of hospital and SEND THE MONEY NOW), my daughter saying if you only talk to me to find out about cg, don’t bother (she works at the hospital and I asked if she could check out his story, when she said No, I left it) and my partner saying I had ruined his Saturday afternoon. Hmmm, think I need some space, so I walked out left my phone behind and went to the lake for four hours, walked miles and cleared my head.

Came back to my partner asleep on the sofa, so I watched some TV then went to bed, to be woken at midnight to say my partner was being harrassed by my cg, to talk to me. I carried on sleeping. I can’t believe a word my cg says anymore.

I’ve made a decision to go and see my doctor on Monday morning and get an appointment. I don’t know the procedures here for therapy help but I need to talk to someone face to face. I have such alot going on in my brain on top of my blackmailing cg and I can’t cope anymore. I don’t have an female friends to have a chat with and my french is very basic, I would not be able to communicate effectively. So that was day 5, another Saturday ruined by this addiction.

Day 6 has started with the clocks going back an hour, so I am up at silly o’clock and there’s a storm raging outside (thunder and lightning) and I need a coffee.

Hope everyone else is having a great time. Take Care San x