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The gold

I told my mum what was going on last night. She did the motherly thing and tried to make me feel better about my gambling. One of the things she said was if i still have 25k left in my savings it’s not so bad. I am sure she told me this because I am upset and she was trying to make me feel better. I started to have those evil thoughts. You know? Maybe she is right. Maybe I can have one more try at that jackpot to fix what I have done. This validated for me that I do have a problem. I still think I can beat this because I am strong enough. One day at a time. I got back to doing some push ups this morning before leaving for work. My big brother suggested exercise could be good right now. Don’t feel very motivated but at least some push ups are a start.

Last night my fortnightly pay went in the bank so i can transfer some money to my savings. This is the beginning of rebuilding what I have lost and getting back to being an honest and reliable man.