Hi bettie, thanks for sharing the article by Marilee. It is so spot on that it brought me to tears, every part of it.
One time I cashed out 40k in winnings and was able to cover all my immediate/urgent debts and have a little bit more to spend. However, I did not feel happy. I continued to feel depressed and was pretty confused by my own state of mind.
I felt incredibly depressed, hopeless, lonely, scared, stressed and hopeless. The feeling is so sickening, I really do not wish to be in that position anymore. I know I have turned to gambling to get relief from pain, boredom, depression and any negative emotions, but not only has gambling made those emotions worse for me, it gave a whole new set of problems that I never had (on top of my existing problems)! There is no win to gambling, only temporary relief that comes with heavy side effects.
I have admitted to gambling, and I am determined to kick it’s ass for good. I have a target to go cold turkey at gambling for 365 days, today is the 6th day! I will be sharing my journey in here: https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en/journey-gambling-free-life-great-experience
One thing that I really want to share is, LOVE is the most powerful force on Earth, even more powerful than addiction. The reason why I feel so determined and positive about quitting gambling and accepting my consequences, and paying for it (perhaps for the next few years of my life), is because of LOVE. People who loves me have suffered enough from my addiction, it is unfair that they have to suffer because I have decided to use gambling as a crutch to escape from my problems.
Every decision we make determines our future. Today, I decide that I take control of my life and fight every problem that comes my way. There are many unfortunate people in this world, sick, disabled and poor who are struggling to get even the most basic human needs, for me to waste my life away when I’m 100% healthy… it’s just not right. If I die I should die helping people, not die in my room from gambling addiction.
Everytime I get the urge to gamble, I think about the people who loves me, and all kinds of suffering that people are going through from all over the world, it gives me the strength and determination to quite gambling for good. I know it’s not gonna be an easy journey, but I am 100% determined to do it.