still i have thoughtsurges to start trading “gambling ” again. frankly I know from where it came, it didnot come Out of the blue.
I have broke some rules of my prevention strategy, for instance i have a prepaid card (so the road is open and I can send money to any online broker if I have a trading account) . and I have kept a small amount 1000$ in addition to my monthly expenses with me as an emergency fund and i didn’t send it to the joint account (where the money will be protected from my impulsive behavior.).
I am pushing my limits a bit to live a normal life, I am finding out there is a minmum level of access to extra money and to debit card is required to live normally, I should have at least a debit card for the online payments and some backup money a small amount for any emergency. I know i am playing with the fire, but i think i have earned the right to try to push my limits a bit more after a 161 days GF ( I have never gone that far ever).
I am really wondering if the gambler insides me took the control? or the rational part of me is writing this post?. well, the results will answer this question.
so far it is not easy, but i am surviving will see if the urges will go in the coming days.