#3219
jenny46
Participant

My ex partner is a CG. There was a recent interesting topic on the forum somewhere about self banning.

Your partner possibly may feel that he will have less control if he self bans – but less control of what ? It sounds more like he wants to keep the option to gamble there and alive rather than give a commitment to a gambling free life.

It also seems to suggest that he has not yet recognised the fact that if he gambles then he is and always will be out of control, if anything self banning places him in a better position to be in control.

If he wants to gamble then he will as you rightly say find a way but a self ban cuts some of the options and gives him time for a re think.

Ali it is great that you have control of the finances and although again he may feel that he lacks control, again he is not in the position as yet to be responsible for controlling finances which when the wrong decisions are made cause damage not only to himself but to others around him.

Personally I would rather listen to the protests than be sitting here facing yet another financial catastrophe and all that goes with it, as tedious as I know it can be.

To me Ali someone who becomes serious about recovery wants to put all the barriers in place as difficult as it may be. I don’t think it would be a very wise move to give in to any increased demands for money or to allow any bargains to be struck between choices of more money or self banning it just totally sounds like he wants to keep the avenues open.

Your own boundaries and barriers are just as important, trust in yourself as to what is best for you and just do your best to stick to your decisions because for you they will be the right ones.

Jenny