#1771
velvet
Moderator

Dear BB
You lit up my room when I read your post.
Once F&F enter a true and healthy recovery there is no need to look back apart from for ‘reference only’. I believe you will go on to use your experience in all walks of your life and I am so happy for you.
You are no longer wreckage from your husband’s gambling addiction and I am sure that will give you the strength to cope with his drinking and to make informed decisions now that ‘your’ mind is not clouded by his addiction. I certainly believe your strength will help him.
I think all F&F who love CGs pray for the gambling to stop believing that, that is an end in itself and in a way it is – the gambling has to stop to allow the distortions to be tipped out of a brain clouded by addiction. It is important that the massive void that must occur is filled with things that are good but sadly that is not always the case.
Your husband has hopefully been enjoying a gamble-free time and that freedom is something that he can bring to mind when he next reflects on his behaviour. For you – the freedom you have felt as the responsibility of his addiction has dropped from your shoulders will not be forgotten by you and that is what will drive you on. Everything that you have said is right for the right reasons. You are a tower of strength.
I am not the same person I was 7 years ago and I will not be that person again. The relearning is fun and the light bulb moments take away the shadows in the fragile areas. I am still growing and learning and I will never cease to be childlike in my joy at reading another member pass through that dark tunnel.
It is possible to ‘accept’ and feel normal – it is right and proper that you do.
I am so pleased you returned to update – I salute your courage and wish you well.
Post for as long as you want to do so – you will always be heard.
V