#2981
twilight16
Participant

Dear Butterfly,
Velvet’s words and guidance are what pulled through me the very dark days I was living a few years ago and I love her for it. It was definitely the turning point of my life; I had to change and face the addiction for what it was and face what I was really dealing with. I could no longer just turn the other cheek that his compulsive gambling didn’t matter because it did. Yes, he is a good person, he has admiral qualities and of course I loved him and he was my father.
But this was not enough to forgive him for his careless and selfish ways when gambling. I think it is very important for those who love a compulsive gambler to be fully aware that this addiction will not just suddenly go away or that you can handle or even control the gambling, because you cannot. I did this for years and years and years and the addiction only snowballed to this huge mountain that almost destroyed me and my family. I did the easy thing for countless years, I never fully acknowledged the addiction within my father and it was what dragged me in a horrid and unfathomable state I experienced the last few years that I was on the edge knowing the bubble was going to bust.
This year marks the first year that I have really, really lived a life of joy, love and I am so thankful I did. This journey/recovery has to be all about you. Get to know yourself, have a relationship with yourself, treat yourself, don’t think of him, just let him take care of him. When we let go magical things happen to us….
XXXTwight