Dear Caroline
I think you hit the nail on the head when you wrote that ‘He must have been thinking ‘oh wow that was easy’, – it would be the reaction of most CGs getting enablement with such little effort. I personally think it is scary how easy it is and how wrong it is that society allows vulnerable people to be exploited in this way.
Having said that, in my opinion you did the right thing sharing with his sister. You mention his sister and his dad – is that because you have more understanding with them and from them? What are they doing towards supporting you generally? How are they treating your partner?
In my opinion Caroline you need legal advice – you are being taken into a world of serious debts against your will. Many companies these days get a harder time than they used to when they lend money to vulnerable people but there is still not enough control. Your partner hasn’t got a clue what he is getting himself into, he is being driven by his addiction and taking you and his sons along for the ride.
I think you should keep talking to his family; they are the grandparents and aunt of your boys after all. Explain to them that shouting at him doesn’t work but maybe try and persuade them to encourage him towards taking control by seeking help for his addiction.
I would like to see you get off this roller-coaster soon Caroline but I think you need on-the-ground support, as the mother of three small boys you are vulnerable. It is time he realized that he cannot control his addiction without help from others and maybe it takes his family to get him to see that. Have you told him that you have sought support for you?
I hope to ‘speak’ to you later
V
