Dear Ell
I do believe that when an ‘if’ becomes as strong as your ‘if’ it is best to talk without accusing and hopefully the ‘if’ will disappear.
I cannot tell you that the ‘if’ will not appear at different times in your life but when it does I think it would be good to re-read your thread and see this ‘if’ post – you will remember what worried you and how well you coped.
Anxiety, stress and terror are not good for you or for your husband – now you have talked I hope you feel calm. Don’t let someone else’s disappointment with their relationship affect you – I know Berber would not want that. Never forget that your story is unique.
Keep going as you are – your husband is doing well and so are you.