#2849
velvet
Moderator

Dear Madge
I am always listening but often feel that I write too much. Of course your story is worth listening to and you deserve all the support this forum can give.
You are right to call your husband playing blackjack a slip. I hope that he told his GA group even if he did collect his 9 month gamble-free key-ring. Maybe you could say if it happens again that you feel it would be nice if he discussed his behaviour with his group rather than telling him that he should not have counted his 9 months as gamble-free. I believe in supporting CGs to be open with each other – it is far less distressing for you if someone else is putting him straight.
I was so sorry to read that you were running round the house hiding his keys and wallet to stop him going to the casino but I understand why – it is so difficult to stay calm when you feel the addiction is triggered.
I can hear you love your husband Madge and I know how hard it can be to love someone who is not in control of their life. That is why it is so important that you are in control of yours – you are the lynch-pin in your family but that does not mean you have to sacrifice your life for your husband’s addictions.
Was his therapist recommended to you, do you feel he/she is making a difference?
I have changed my times on Tuesdays so that my group is 6pm New York time – it would be good to talk to you in real time.
Keep walking the walk and I will walk with you but please never, never forget or underestimate the importance of ‘you’.
V