Dear San
Of course I am sending you ‘stay strong’ vibes, I send them to you even when you are not posting because you made such an impression on me. I so wish we could sit together – cyber space seem so inadequate at times.
You sound as though you are feeling dwarfed by the situations around you but I know you have an inner strength and will overcome. You know I cannot tell you what to do but if it was me I would be telling my CG ‘don’t talk to me about money because I have none to give – I will end this communication if you ask for money’ and then end it if he doesn’t stop. I can hear you have had enough and I believe I can hear rock bottom. ‘No’ is such a small word but I know how hard it is to say – don’t let his addiction take away any more of the happiness you have fought for, you deserve so much more than this and you know his addiction is NOT your fault. I imagine that you are speaking to your CG for him to be penetrating your barriers like this – you are hearing his addiction too loudly – can you get back to text messages only, giving you time to think and also the ability to switch off and delete unpleasant messages?
I am so very sorry to hear that you partner has cancer and I can only pray that it has been caught in time and he will stay strong. My hope for you is as always, that your illness has remained in remission and will continue to do so.
I hope that your other children are giving you joy.
I send my best wishes to you and your partner.
Speak soon