Dear San

I have read Adele’s reply to you and I am in the dark about your posts from the 15th that didn’t make it in the transfer. It it appears that the worry you had, might have been sorted but please write about it again if you still have concerns.

I was pleased to see that you said ‘we’ got a phone call which tells me you are sharing and not dealing with this on your own.

Anger and disgust are understandable and I think every one on this site feels the same about the addiction regardless of which forum they are in. Sadly your son may be a fair way off from sorting himself out and I know how stretched those loving feelings can get. We shy away in the real world from saying the unmentionable that is screaming around in our head but I know that being a loving mother is not always the feeling being enjoyed. You can love your son and even be afraid that you might not but you definitely do not love his addiction. I know that sometimes it is impossible to see the difference but as I have said before there will never be (and could never be) any judgement here.

If you think you figure in the reasons for your son’s poor behaviour and his gambling then, in my opinion, it would good to talk about it.

I don’t think your son would have recognised that you were low; it probably just felt like he did because you were feeling down. Write your positive headlines when you are strong and then bank them for when you are not on top, they will help you cope.

Example of what not to say: ‘I am getting paid’.

Example of what to say: ‘I don’t have any money to spare’.

Unfortunately one of the blips on the site at the moment is the use of asterisks in the wrong place and I don’t know the word you have used in your post following ‘chemotherapy’ but you have said it will increase your energy levels so hopefully that will make you more positive about the way you feel.

I am having a bit of catching up to do but hopefully I will be on top soon. I can see that you are coping with your replies and I think the new forum will be great once we stop hankering for the familiar old format. The support and care is still the same regardless.

Are you enjoying the new job?

Speak soon