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Dear Silver
I think you would be amazed at how many CGs decide they can be professional gamblers – the belief in their addiction over-rides logic and rationality.
Your boyfriend is not in control. The nature of the CG is that they cannot walk away until everything is lost because the addiction to gamble has nothing to do with money, which is one of the hardest things the non-CG has to understand. It is the ‘gamble’ that matters and it is the ‘gamble’ that destroys them, taking away their self-esteem and confidence just as it does those who love them.
You are absolutely right when you say that at 20 you should be happy. You have already had a terrible experience in the loss of your high school sweetheart, you must have been devastated – did you have any counselling to help you cope?
I am not going back on what I said earlier Silver but you do deserve more than this. I appreciate completely that you are loyal to those you care about but unfortunately this does leave you vulnerable – it wouldn’t matter what age you were either, the same would apply if you were 50.
I hope you post again soon – it would be great to ‘see’ you in an F&F group.