Dear Velvet, thank you SO much for your reply, it is super helpful. I would like to reply in more detail to some of your points but for now I have the immediate problem of having to decide today whether I am going to move to this new house in the new town, where I will be more isolated with him, or not. I have to decide because I have to tell my landlord now whether I am going to keep my current flat. When I read what you say about how the addiction comes from low self-esteem, I feel guilty as I know I will hurt him even more by dropping out of our plans for a future together. Since he is pretty much in denial about his addiction, he will probably not understand my decision or see it as justified and will likely end the relationship. We chose the new house together (although I don’t have a financial stake in it). It is so hard as I know I have to look after myself and the right thing for me is not to move, and isolate myself with his addiction, but I love him and I don’t want to lose him. If we were not living together, I could protect myself while trying to help him – eg by showing him the GA literature as you suggest. Thanks for any thoughts on this!