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#5425
bosslady
Participant

I have been ready for him to come home…And i think he needed the help of his counselor to decide if/when he was ready..He came home “officially” day before yesterday… one of the things i have always done has been in control of every aspect of the household…i don’t want that to be the case anymore i need to let go of some of the responsibilities ( but i still keep a close eye for his follow through and work with him in decision making process) and allow him to make decisions and see how the bills and finances work..we have seperate accounts and each have specific bills we are responsible for now…(we have been doing this since we seperated three months ago and will continue this for now)..In doing this i have noticed a DRAMATIC difference in his attitude toward money…he has been talking about researching ways to help pay down our debt (which we dont have much at all)…ways to cut down bills we have now…he never cared about spending and blowing money before…he traded in his big truck a month ago for a more cost effective small car and cut that note in half and was so proud when he did…My controling everything was enableing him not to care or take responsiblity for our household and made me the constant bad guy…while i will not release control of all finances because i still have to protect kids and myself first…i do believe this is and has been important and beneficial for both of us..
Velvet you are so right about us being on two seperate roads…i told him i am there to listen when he needs me to but what he discusses with the counselor i dont need to know about or want to unless he feels its important i do..what he tells them might hurts my feelings…make me question my trust or just plain make me think too much about things not even in my control so to me theres no need to pry..I am very open with him about my new faith..and hes supportive…and seems to enjoy hearing what i have to say….i wont force it on him…although i hope he finds his way to God that too is his own road just like this one is my own…Im still out there finding myself..i like myself for the first time in a long time…and its strange it has taken something so hard to make something so good happen….God Bless