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#45358
vera
Participant

I agree, Monica. Having plans shattered,no matter what the causes is and no matter how important or unimportant the plans are, will always make me feel upset. In the past I learned to handle this type of upset by gambling.
Last Sunday I had a let down similar to yours. All I could think of was going to the casino instead with a bag of money and head full of negative thoughts.(Incidentally, for ill health reasons, today has been another let down.)
It is a form of self pity coupled with self destruction.
For me, it’s also to do with CONTROL. If I feel I can’t control my life , especially if my plans are dashed by an attack of illness it makes me feel bitter.
The thought “What about the guys who stay out all night drinking/drugging/fornicating and yet have their health when all I was trying to do is something normal/even good” fills my mind.!!!
I HATE being prevented from keeping appointments.
I’m very sorry to hear you missed your granddaughter’s performance but hopefully, it will be the first on many.
Will somebody record that show? I’m sure they will.
Now to the job and the IBS…
IBS is related to stress as you know , along with diet etc etc.
I suffered with it for years. It is the most debilitating condition and like gambling, very few people understand it.
Thank God (and touch wood) I have been clear for a long time but even as I type this the ominous grumblings are setting in.
Dairy food, especially ice cream, cream and soft cheese , yeast, sausages and too many mixtures of rich food would set me off. That’s the dietary aspect . Fear, worry and anxiety about upcoming events can be emotional factors too.
This job offer and your dream are most likely linked to the IBS too, Monica. When I read that you have a week to make the decision I felt myself drawing in a deep breath. I don’t handle decisions like that too well. I prefer to act on the spot and get on with things which might seem impulsive but if often works for me. The anticipation of all that can go wrong causes anxiety for me.
When I went back to work at age 52, after a 19 year career break, I jumped at the offer of a Permanent and Pensionable post because I was up to my eyeballs in debt and this was my chance to clear it. The opposite happened . I borrowed on the strength of my “big” salary and ruined myself financially and wrecked my health working 12 hour shifts with a two hour commute .
Just think carefully about your real reasons for taking on this extra pressure, Monica. In reality, you do not need to decide in only one week. Leave your options open. If they are prepared to extend your position in a temporary capacity and if that doesn’t cause you too much uncertainty, leave things as they are pro tem.
Make sure you are not going ahead to please your boss or over sell yourself.
A permanent job comes with all the pros that have been listed but if it is to bring pressure (which it inevitably will) then it is not worth it. Money comes and goes. It is not our god. We will never regain all we lost gambling so best to start with a clean slate and make the best of life by living within our means. If you curtail your spending and save some every week, it will give you some security if security is what you are looking for. None of us are getting younger, Monica so maybe looking for a less stressful life could be the best option.
I have a pecking order in my life now.
Faith
Family
Work
The second two are transient and change with circumstance and time and are out of my control. Of late, they have become far less important than the first.
Avoiding the water (in the dream) is symbolic of avoiding
emotional ties. Like you, I got tied up with some people at work emotionally and indeed financially.
The prospect of the new job offer seems to come with a lot of emotional issues. I would be wary of that.
If I were to re trace my steps, I would have kept business and pleasure separate. I don’t want to sound sexist but working with male colleagues made work easier. When it comes to friends, the females won out …well, on 2nd thoughts perhaps what is just a return to my investment in those friendships. ….Today is a rough one for me, too.
Life can be complex.
Keep it simple