Dude, I know exactly how you feel. That has happened to many times to me online. Infact, it happened to me ALL the time live and online. no matter what I had, straights, flushes, fullhouses – someone got a the river to beat me.
What the point. There is no point. treat yourself to recovery. I am day 69 and my life is SO much better than it was even 4 weeks ago. Every day I wake up knowing I didn;t gamble the day before, every day I achieve the small number of tasks I set myself, I feel better and better. GA works for me – have you tried it. If not, give it a god. If you want it to work, it will. I have driven 80 miles this week just to go to 2 GA meetings – 1 in Derby 25 miles away and one in Stoke 15 miles away. Both were great meetings, both had many reasons to remind me why I can never gamble normally. Even if I win, I will lose. I cannot win. None of us can.
I know you want recovery, but first you must grasp abstinence by the horns and wrestle it tto he ground. Then put it in a headlock and keep it there until it weakens.
you can do it fella – keep posting, stay away from ALL gambling related shit.
All my thoughts to you and yours