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Welcome to GT RR .
The thing that struck me most about your post is that you, yourself now realize what gambling has done to you.
For as long as we continue gambling, we are asleep. We live in a dream world. An illusion. When we wake up and see gambling for what it is , the scales fall from our eyes.That is the point of change.
The reality is that gambling is a progressive disease. It will never go away. It follows a CG like an unwanted demon, always lurking in the background waiting to pounce.
The good new is, you and I are stronger than this addiction but only when we take steps to eradicate it from our lives. You have taken first step today.
You have admitted that you are powerless over gambling.
The first step is the most difficult.
Keep climbing.
If you look back you will be tempted to “try one more time”.
We will NEVER win our money back but we will always lose more and more and more. You realize this now.
The only advise I would give you is to give the money you have in savings to somebody else, for safe keeping or you are at risk of losing that too.
Best wishes in recovery.