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#28151
jennaraye88
Participant

Hi liberty

I’m new here and and started my day 1 forum yesterday so I’m on day 2 – nearly over now. This post struck a cord with me because yo say that you wish you were the iPad and could erase everything from the past and start afresh. I so very much wish I could do that too.

I am receiving mixed advice about whether of not ‘starting fresh and erasing the past’ should be persued though. In my eyes, you can’t look forward if you always look back and you can’t feel good about yourself if others are secretly judging you. So, that being said, I have been in a relationship for 18 months now and I deeply hope he is the one, I love him dearly. He has no idea that I’m a (recovering) CG and has never even seen me gamble (I do it online and he works away for home nearly every weekday). My reasoning for not telling him is that: 18 months is still early days in relationship terms, the debt that I have racked up is all mine and I should hopefully clear it before we even think about buying a house together or marriage etc., I am so determined to never gamble ever again and continue to respect that I must never start because I can’t stop, But most importantly how can I expect him to still love me when I do to even love myself right now. I do t want to lose him.

So, to erase and move on – or to open up and hope it doesn’t ruin our relationship?

Thanks

Jenna x