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And I realised why.
Three things happened of probably not major consequence but they affected me without realising it.
Firstly, I got involved in a technical conversation where everyone was trying to look smarter than the other and I forgot something I should have known and I was corrected twice. Then I forgot something really basic on excel, again I should have known but forgot and had to ask someone. I struggle to retain how to do things on the computer sometimes, I could go on ten courses and I still forget. It is a big fear of looking stupid. Yes, there it is, I said it.
Then my sister asked for help with her moving costs which I am happy to do. I remember one time when about three members of my family asked for money in a space of a week. This would have me running to the gambling tables. Why? I ask myself why? Any ideas anyone?