#3224
alicyat824
Participant

Velvet, I felt as though he was doing good because he had been very cooperative with our money situation, we’ve gone through the cycle of him having and then not having access to his money on multiple occasions as I’m sure many partners and CG’s go through. Generally when we hit the “no access” stages he is cooperative but generally grows more bitter and reluctant/ resistant and tries to “handle” the situation himself and ultimately has a lapse in judgement leading to poor decision making. This “cycle” however I have seen minimal resistance and he has been more cooperative with the process. We have some rough moments but have overcome much of our communication issues on the subject of money, spending and the desire to gamble so this was my feeling that things were going good. They were better than past attempts and that was the good in it.

I’m not quite sure that grateful was the correct word to use but it was definitely like you said about bing happy to know what is going on in his head. I do feel as though I reacted in a positive way by simply saying no that I didn’t want to go to the casino and that I also thought it was a bad idea for him to. He simply said okay and that was the end of that.

I’m not quite sure I fully understand your concept of “mind bets” I get the explanation you provided at first but lose the analogy towards the end of your paragraph on it.

My next concern whilst we were on vacation was when I tried to bring up the concept of the casino self-ban that originally brought me to this community in the first place. I only asked if he knew what it was to which he replied yes and then I asked if he would be interested in doing it again he replied to say “if it was necessary”. I was a little thrown I have to admit because although I do recognize the disconnect that exists in an addicted persons mind between a problem and a debilitating process it still never ceases to amaze me how one who has literally rebuilt from absolutely nothing more than 10 times in the past year can still not see such a helpful step as “necessary”.

I’m slightly ashamed at myself for thinking so harshly of him but am at least proud to say I don’t express everything that I feel with regard to such.

Ali