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#4116
dohk0
Participant

So here is my (hopefully) final comment on my situation. My brother and me talked to my mom, who said that she didn’t suspected anything and after we convinced her that he goes to a casino she, as my brother, supposed that he was doing it as a means of having fun and relaxing from work. Before we talked to my dad I was the only one left thinking that he has an addiction problem and that he does not have control over his gambling.
So I talked to my dad during dinner, with my mom and brother beside me, and he was glad that I talked to him about it. He said that he thinks he is in control of the situation and that he is doing it for fun, with a certain amount of money that he had put away for that reason specifically( every couple of days). He said that he has been doing it since the 1st casino opened in town( around 25 years ago) and that there were not times in which he had lost control and lost more than he had. I told him that I would feel better if we went the next day to a therapist who has experience with addictions and he agreed(not with pleasure) and so we went the next day ( all of us ).
While there I told the therapist my concerns and after he told us what and addict behaves like and stories of such. At the end of the meeting he said that he can’t be the one to tell for sure if my dad had a problem or not but if what he had said was true, than he probably did not have a problem controlling this.
At the end I felt kind of bad for insisting so much that he has a problem and I do believe I was wrong. I think at one point I forgot the reason why I was doing all of this ( to help him) and convinced myself that he definitely has a problem. I ended up causing a lot of worry to my mom and maybe left a bad impression on the family. I am sure they will ( if they haven’t already) forgive me if they were upset with me in the first place.
In conclusion I am glad I confronted my dad after all these years (5-6 maybe). I was not very pleased with the way I did it but I suppose that for my first time (if that sounds right) I can’t be too upset with myself. All and all my dad was right when he told me that I should have spoken to him the moment I thought something was wrong. All of that could have been avoided ( my distress during all this years as well ) , but nevertheless this is life and that is how you learn: you make a mistake so that you ( hopefully) don’t have to do it again.

Thank you all for the support you have provided. You have helped me and if it wasn’t for you I might still be festering that secret inside me. Good luck to you all in your own battles.

Sincerely , Donko