Anger is a signal, and without anger, we cannot survive.
Anger informs us that our well-being is threatened or that harm has occurred.
When we feel angry, our primitive “old brain” releases adrenaline –
to enable us to “fight or take flight” in defense against whatever has threatened us.
Our “fight or flight” defense –
Our anger wakes us up to tell us it is time to cope.
It may be time to step back, refuel or take charge.
Luckily, our “new brain,” located in the frontal lobe, has the capacity to reason and problem solve in response to our anger signals.
We can develop this ability to cope with angry feelings. It increases our ability to tolerate frustration and to deal more adaptively with feelings of hurt.
When “aggression” prevails over reason, fight or flight reaction wins. –
Naturally more often the case, we hit back, or scream
rather than show empathy or “use words.”
First Comes Hurt
To understand and manage angry feelings and aggressive behavior,
we must first recognize and remember that anger comes from hurt.
Aggression
Aggression is the behavioral response –
the acting on the hurt and anger.
Empathy is the curative response that eases the hurt so we can shore up our coping defenses.