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Without a Higher Power helping me, I will not be able to stay “gamble free” but having a Higher Power did not make me gamble free, it only gave me the wisdom, strength and motivation I need to stay gamble free.

If I love God, if I love my family, I should not gamble.

I have failed miserably when I was my own Higher Power. I cannot stop gambling on my own free-will because of my sinful, selfish, self-centered and self-seeking nature.

After all these years: What has not change was the fact that I was still the same person who gambled. What has change now was the ability to see that gambling was wrong and no doubt about it.

The responsibility is all mine. The final decision and choice was mine. I had to “try” and stay gamble free everytime regardless of the situation and my feelings.

So which Higher Power do I follow?

me or God, me or the recovery program, me or a recovery person.

I cannot rely on my feelings which can be impulsive and compulsive, My feeling is very inconsistent, it can change and was not the same every time. This is very dangerous, because gambling can be permissible when the situation and my feeling change. However, the Higher Power is always the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Right and wrong is very crystal clear.

Only me want to gamble. Don’t listen to me.