It seems your husband’s gambling has had a profound effect on your life at every level, nomore. Now that you are “good friends” maybe it would be of help to both of you to talk about this together and reach a point where you can forgive him and allow him to forgive himself. I know “forgiveness” has become a buzz word and is seen as some kind of a magic therapy but I also know that unforgiveness causes a lot of those scars that you say are there for good.
Counting my blessings and being content with what I have prevents me from chasing what I do not or may never have.
Scars can fade and sometimes improve with exposure to light!
‘Bet your garage is not half as messy as my attic! Once you get started you might be surprised at how cathartic that project will be.