Coming back to start again and pick up the pieces after falling is a good start. Well done ! The urges come with the attraction of winning but that is the addiction. It doesn’t come to remind you of the consequences or the guilt and remorse.
Yo have to stop. Gambling is not the answer. You’ll end up years later like most of us, having lost everything including our personality and character as gambling doesn’t rob your of money only, it robs your of your self worth, esteem and happiness. You become consumed with gambling. You’re young and have your life ahead of you. Don’t spurn your chances. We cannot beat this monster, he comes back and we end up playing back any win too. Learn from others’ mistakes while you’re young and make your life worth living.
These short thrills do more harm than good and we end up with nothing. Soon we lose everything but cannot control or help ourselves. I’m going into residential treatment for help and being struggling for over 25 years. It got 100 times worst when I found online gambling and all I worked for was gambling and lost all my salary the very day I received it to gambling.
Keep posting and just take one day at a time. When you get the urge, delay it for later or come on here and express your feelings in your journal. The community and support groups are here to help you. You could also try the helpline for a one to one chat for support.
Stay focused and be strong.