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You’re in the right place. I just joined here a few days ago.

You have a lot more to get off your chest I can tell.

Yes, cognitive behavioral therapy/talk therapy can be a trap that actually gets you more stuck in the past than anything else … I like the concept of NLP (Neuro Linkguistic Programming). It’s based on this tenet:

If you went to a travel agency, they wouldn’t ask you why you’re there or where you came from. They would ask “where do you want to go?”

Framing questions to ourselves this way is constructive (especially because a lot of things we don’t know the why too right now) and launches our vision forward. “Where do I wanna go?” “What do I need?” “Have I done it before?” “Who will be with me?” etc.

Gambling is a monster — it takes a team to take down a monster. I’ve avoided GA in person meetings for the very same reason — I’m quite a spiritual person but in no way religious and stay away from that side of things.

I know exactly what you mean about having dreams stuck in your head that you don’t act on — I’ve been journaling about this myself. After getting sucked into gambling, the things that you previously thought of that you would just do, you end up postponing endlessly and the priority becomes “after I gamble … after i get back that loss … after I (fill in the blank)” … the “after” never comes.

Gambling itself numbs your senses and lies to you that the life you want and things you want aren’t that great if you can’t be a successful gambler first … Your body and senses are pulsing out messages to get up, go do and explore and be where you want — your neurochemistry has rewired those signals to be interpreted as “go gamble” … you’ll notice this if you feel into all those competing signals that happen before gambling. They’re trying to connect you back to your body that gets moves and does things.

Gambling is what we want stuck in our head and looking at with indifference … with help, we have to pull ourselves away from that black hole and make gambling what we are window shopping/thinking of time to time then shrugging at. Life passions take center stage in its place.

I’m finding my emotions and thoughts go from one polarity to the other — the false paradigm of gambling where emotional and activity interests are distorted/inverted, and the true expression where my deeper joy clarity of vision and love comes back to the surface with a natural resilient confidence and gambling looks like what it is: boring and unpromising. The “thrill” is just a trick created by our biological and personality predisposition for it.

Please keep writing in your journal here. You have a lot of emotions and things happening under your impulse to gamble — I’m still fairly new here but have observed this to be immensely helpful/a deep breath of oxygen.

Much love and support <3