Hi Laura!
Habits are hard to break, especially when a certain habit seems to be the only thing that gives us enjoyment or when it becomes “easy”. Not having full health is restrictive and I guess gambling is an ideal pastime since it takes such little exertion. I know, for me, certain casinos developed into comfort zones; places I felt “normal” and accepted! I would justify going there since my health prevents me from doing things I “would prefer to do”. Sometimes, instead of making more effort, I would create a false lull and take the easy option. i.e. opt out. Does that ever happen with you Laura? When we step back and begin to rationalize, we see things differently. We become aware that the stress of gambling exacerbates health issues rather than alleviating them. The stress of “being caught” is a huge issue for me too, but when we think about it at a deeper level the One Who Sees All will always know our inner thoughts and plans. Sometimes we deceive ourselves.
Can you figure out some way of getting home from work without entering the “danger zone” Laura? Maybe a change of route or travel in company?
Habits, when they become compulsions are more difficult to break and when the dreaded “addiction” is added to the mix it really means we need a bit of extra hurdle help.
Can you look at ways to organize your travel/funds/opportunities so that you won’t slip back into a crazy world of lies chaos and disorder, Laura.
Gambling can be fun but you know that for a CG it will ALWAYS end in tears.
Spare yourself the torment, Laura.
It is possible to put the brakes on.
Again. It’s never too late.
