You’ve done very well to hold on to your salary and pay your bills. I’ve got paid yesterday and also paid my bills and know what you’re going through. I know about that buzz and do exactly the same as you by switching off the lights so that no one sees I’m up till till 4am spinning away in my own world.
I am desperate to gamble with the last £200 credit on my OD to turn this all around. I only have this £200 but it’s a lot more than nothing I’ve had for this whole month till now. I hear the voices urging to open new doors and dent my debt with a big win but I know it won’t happen but I so much want to try. I miss that buzz. I feel so empty and bored. Nothing satisfies that craving and feeling we get from gambling. Yet we cannot bear that awful aftermath of low, sick feeling and depression that follows cos we won’t stop and cash in even if we are up.
I can’t fathom how strong women like us who can take on challenges and deal with them in life are reduced to nothing when it comes to gambling. It is indeed a very tough decision requiring all your inner strength and determination to recover on a moment to moment basis. So, so hard.
Just try to distract yourself, delay it and tackle something that will occupy your time and mind. I speak for myself too. I’m working away feverishly with lots to do for work today but every time my mind wanders and I dint myself coming back on my personal laptop. It’s so much easier…. what I really want.
But we are strong and need to let our true selves focus on doing what is right.