I have been going through your posts and wanted to make one or two comments about therapists. No individual therapist can know about every human situation in detail, but a well-qualified and experienced one will listen very attentively to the client and try to help that client do the psychological work they need to do.
Addictions always make therapy with anyone more complex. As you know, an addict is very manipulative and some try to ‘use’ therapy/the therapist, whilst not being ready to really enter the process of change. I think this is one reason why it is often recommended that the addiction issues are dealt with first and alone – so there is less chance of the addiction wrecking all the other work – or at least greatly undermining it. Of course, no one is simply an addict; each person is a whole human being with a mixture of needs, but the focus can centre on the addiction with an addiction specialist.
Also, effective therapy is usually long-term – it isa big part of life’s work, not a peripheral thing. When there is a lot of complexity, things have to be broken down into smaller components. A relationship counsellor will be trained to focus on ‘the relationship’ and it would be difficult to immediately work with a serious, individual addiction too.
It is quite late here, so I hope I am being coherent. You are a very strong and resourceful person and also very well-informed, so forgive me if I am just going over stuff you have already worked through. Take anything that is useful and ignore the rest.
Very best wishes,
Monique