We must have been writing at the same time! I have just now seen your reply to Velvet and Madge. You have already made things better for yourself. You have the experience and the wisdom to do what is most helpful – we all have moments of desperation, especially when under a lot of pressure, but when we have learned from previous testing times, we can find the way forward again. It is good to call out to those who care at the bad moments. Continue well.