Astrofly,
your words mean a lot to me and I thank you for reading my journal from beginning to end. today marks 365 days gamble free. a lot of emotions coming back to this site, but also a reminder of how bad my addiction got. I am writing this with a very clear mind, and gambling being a distant memory. I never thought I would come this far, and I hope you know that you can do it too. Sometimes we are in so deep, it feels likr there is no hope. I will never forget when I went in to the Bank after maxing out my final 50$ on a 25,000$ credit card, trying to get another 500$ of over draft in front of two bank tellers who looked at me like I was completely naked and told me I have no available funds left. probably laughing at me inside how poor I was, probably one of the most embarrassing moments I my life. At that moment I realized I need to change. I am still paying off that credit card, but being gamble free for one year means more to me than having that card paid off. it will happen As long as I stay focused. Had I kept gambling , that debt probably would be in the hundreds of thousands, I would most likely be homeless And addicted to subtances. I believe you can do it also. You must believe you can as well At whatever it may take: GA, counselling, opening up to family and friends, having someone handle your finances, banning yourself from all sites and casinos; anything it takes. I am living proof you can get out of the hell that gambling has caused you, myself, and millions of others. If you ever want to talk, vent, need advice, message me. You will always have a friend in me. remember; money can always be made back, but time gambling , mental anguish and hopelessness, hours spent gambling, missing out on what’s important in life, the things money can’t buy, will never be able to be made back. I’m rooting for you, always. Keep pushing forward, one day at a time. I did it, and so can you. God bless.
Stephen