#3381
twilight16
Participant

Hello and welcome to GT, I agree with Sans the only validation should only come from you , however, I do understand it feels good to hear from others say you did the right thing and YOU DID. YOU ABSOLUTELY DID THE RIGHT THING.
Now you are must start your recovery, this is very important in moving on with your life, getting stronger and healing your heart and spirit. What you and others have endured with a cg in denial is and was hell, there is no other comparisons and it will take time for you to heal from the madness and cruelness of this addiction. It knows no mercy and will continue to take what it can from those who love them. Reading when you wrote about finishing the race, really tugged at my heart. AS my father would do the same thing, yet this was when I passed an important exam for my job. It was like it went through one ear and out, only wanting money.
The support you will receive here will help you get on track and also help you deal with your ex or husband, because unfortunately he will be back. He will knock on your door, demanding what his addiction is shouting to him, he will say he is homeless , that he loves you , he will say anything to make you feel guilty,to make you feel like you are the bad person, don’t listen, if anything he has to prove himself, and I’d say this take time (years) just be prepared and keep in mind if you give in, all the work you have placed against this addiction will not be as effective.
You, and I am including myself, are in this situation because we allowed it, we enabled and we were afraid of truly standing up to this addiction. We allowed the term, husband and father, stop us from saying enough is enough.
When an addict doesn’t seek help and continues to be destructive than how can we support this behavior? Yet, many of us do, or have, for the wrong reasons. We cannot wish an addiction away.
My father is a cg, I lived with this addiction at a young age, when my parents divorced when I was 18, I unknowingly and unwillingly became his enabler until I was in my late 30’s. This addiction has no shame as it targeted me, however, the good news is that I stopped it from attaching itself to my daughters, my father’s granddaughters. It will never hurt another soul, yet it still lives with my father, it is his headache and no one else’s.
Though the boards seem slow, go back and read posts, there is so much to learn from reading other’s posts.

Best wishes,
XXTwilight